last class spring 2010

Last class tonight, Mike slapped my shoulder, goodbye I guess. Not a word to me all this semester then I get the 6 and a half footer slap on the back. WTF? Well at least he doesn't flirt,a bruise is fun. Snezana was so tired, she said she said didn't want to talk to anyone, and talked to everyone. We did some gesture drawing and one long pose and it was over. So very sad. I was always exhausted going and intense during and exhilarated after. It helped to forget everything for those three hours, pains and pleasures, everything gone. Is that why? I know I need to practice,I know I've improved,and I see how far I have to go. Maybe that's the reason I feel sad. Listening to all those young confident creatives, alive, full of the future is sad in a way too. I have so little future and even less past compared to their lives. Probably it's just this fucking depression getting to me. And next week I'm cleaning house. If I get some more exercise it will go away. I know that but I am so lazy and obsessed with this internet.